Authentic Resilience

Tonight, as I searched for a visual representation of resilience - I came across this photo of the flower sprouting out in the midst of the asphalt. This is a great representation of what I consider authentic resilience.

You must imagine the roots of this flower pushing and twisting, contorting and stretching itself to reach its life sustaining soil. With each season, it has to work that much harder to keep itself alive. To add value to its tiny corner of the universe. To bring joy to the one looking for it in the simplest of places

I'd bet there are days when trying to find water, a very basic element that should be easily encountered in its environment, this flower's roots stretch to the point of breaking to get the drops of moisture that it senses in the dark below. It can't think - it operates all by instinct and that is what keeps this solo flower growing in the midst of asphalt

Some days I feel like that, too.

In all my efforts to not just survive but thrive in the spot I'm in, I twist and push, contort and stretch myself even beyond what I think are my limits of "enough is enough.

Yet I don't break.

I deliver. For my family, for my friends, for my employer and ...

Mainly for myself.

Dictionary defines resilience as the following:

1. The capability of a body to recover its size and shape after deformation cause especially by compressive stress
2. An ability to recover from or adjust to misfortune or change.

Interesting.

I use resilience in my brand statement and never think of it as a result of something negative. On the contrary, I see it as an innate ability to form oneself for the task at hand.

Either you possess this character trait or you don't.  You can't teach this but it can be learned.

May you have or develop the resilience needed to face whatever is in front of you.

Summer November Weekend Wows This Scorpio

November is my favorite month and always has been.

With about 8 days until the 9th anniversary of my 29th birthday, I cannot remember a weekend in November this gorgeous. I usually love this month no matter the temperature but I have to say I am impressed with this weekend, in particular.

70 degrees and sunny  Saturday, 75 degrees and sunnier Sunday. The picture I found is similar to our weekend minus the mountain and with lots more leaves on the ground.

First, a visit to the park with the kids and then a jump or two on the trampoline.

An MLS playoff series win for the Chicago Fire with a celebration under the clear Chicago sky.

Then - a Sunday afternoon outside with my dad, my sister's brood and my own two kids. You can't beat this!

This post is dedicated to all those who complained all summer long (and part of the fall) about our weather - see, if you just keep living - the good days come. Sometimes two days in a row!

My only hope is that you Chicagoans (or anyone in the midwest for that matter)  got out to enjoy it.

I know I did.

Lemon Cream Pie: The Solution to Life's Sour Moments

Quite possibly one my favorite desserts (and there are many) is Lemon Cream Pie. Follow this link to the recipe I prefer: Lemon Pie.

Now, of course - I only use the base with authentic Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk, fresh squeezed lemon juice and  I always, always,  ALWAYS experiment with toppings and crusts. Sometimes, I whip up fresh whipped cream and put it over a layer of strawberries in a graham cracker crust.

It's good, don't turn your nose up.

I've lined it with kiwis and put it in a shortbread cookie crust.

The point - I always start with lemons. Sour, tart, bitter lemons.

I have never been one to say - "make lemonade out of lemons" but always say make a lemon pie.

There is much more effort in lemon pie vs. lemonade.

I have to reach for many more ingredients with lemon pie vs. lemonade.

Lemon pie is just more sturdy than lemonade.

Often times - depending on who I'm sharing with - I solicit feedback for the lemon pie surprises and last time I checked - no one asks some else how the make lemonade.

Are you following me?

When you have that crappy meeting, stinging conversation or devestating news - what do you do with it?

Do you mix it with water and sugar (maybe vodka) and hope for the best?

I can tell you what I do. I pour over the details. I throw out what was not worth keeping and let the things that bothered me most, MOTIVATE me to dig my heals into my brilliant idea and figure out a different way to serve it up OR I challenge myself to blow it up and make it even better.

By no means, do I serve up a glass of lemon water with a little sugar.

Life does throw us many lemons.

Next time you receive one - what are you going to do with it?

Well... What is the barrier?

Interestingly enough - today, I asked someone I care about this very question. It started very innocently and yielded itself into the title of this blog.

What did they really want to do with themselves?

Pretty concise answer. No hesistation

I would venture to say no less than 50% of my network know exactly what they want to be doing.

Well, what is the barrier?

Silence.

In the uncomfortable quiet - it occurred to me that I need to ask myself this same question.

What is my barrier to what I want?

Is it real or imagined?

I am one year into my journey... in fact, it's later this week I will celebrate the anniversary of the start of my blog and 80 posts later - much progress has been made.

I've narrowed my focus for my ultimate dream. Still not sharing completely to the world yet. Soon enough.

I've led workshops, spoke at schools and conferences - all without much proactivity on my part.

I've won elected office and serve my village.

With all the progress - as I probed this friend - I found myself faced with answering the question for me.

I don't have the complete answer.

Of course I have the standard, pat - bad economy - no crazy moves, yadda yadda yadda.

So this week, I will seek the answer to my own question for me. I found the image above to represent my "wall or barrier" Why? Because I can see around it. I could possibly scale it with the right equipment. It is not insurmountable to me. Now I will tackle it.

What about you?

What is keeping you from your dream?

What is the barrier?

Authentically Stumped But Wanting To Post

So many thoughts, so little to tie them together.

The continued fruits of perseverance...

My fleeting fantasy to move to Mexico - prompted partially by the weather - no sun really depresses me and causes irrational outbursts

Major changes on my team at work that are still pending...

Yet another invite to speak at a conference...

Moments of my babies growing up killing me...

Less and less time to do some things I REALLY want to do...

So tonight, instead of posting some great insights that will enhance peoples lives (never my point but often the result of my expressions) I want to encourage people to embrace these moments of scattered thoughts and unfocused energy.

With the wicked pace we all keep - it is great to not have a focus, just riffing the things that are going through your mind. Dissecting some - forgetting or acting on others.

To me, that is inspiring.

And reassuring that we all have these moments and are not too deep to share them with others

The Fruits of Perseverance

This week has delivered me some very cool and unexpected victories - fruits, if you will.

First, something that I convinced myself (and had third party validation as well) would NEVER happen - actually happened Wednesday night, hours after me wrangling in my mind all the reasons why it would not happen.

Coincidence? No, but possibly a fluke.

Grateful, I pressed forward and even spread the good news to a few close friends.

Then tonight, on an equally silver platter - another very clear demonstration to me that Wednesday's revelation was not a fluke. With concise and intentional meaning, the proverbial "other shoe dropped" in the ongoing journey toward healing and restoration.

We are one year, two months and 10 days into this journey.

The message is this... What are you striving for? Or better stated what have you given up on?

I blogged here about persistence in the spring, see the post here.

Perseverance embodies persistence as the dictionary says that perseverance is the "steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose or a state - especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement".

Too many times we give up before the harvest comes in. Use this fall to recommit yourself to something you've yearned for...

an improved interpersonal relationship

a new career path

losing the final 15 pounds

Whatever it may be... ante up and start again. I am smiling broadly thinking of moments over the last 14 months where I was thisclose to throwing in the towel and didn't.

The fruits of perseverance are too sweet to pass up but they cannot be enjoyed until they are ripe, mature and ready to be eaten.

Authentic Validation

Last week, I attended the 96th Annual Conference for the Illinois Municipal League. This is an organization run by and for municipal officers throughout the state of Illinois. Truly a great conference, especially for me as a newly elected official. I was particularly motivated by the keynote speaker from our general session.

Christopher Gardner, the NY Times Bestselling author of his autobiography, The Pursuit of Happyness and subject of the 2006 film starring Will Smith of the same name, was the headliner sponsored by Walgreens. I just blogged on my political blog - "that Mr. Gardner was worth every penny Walgreens paid to bring him to us."

He spoke about "Breaking Cycles" and MAN, did he strike a cord with me. From the very basic to extremely complex - I can relate to this man on many fronts. I sat there captivated as he spoke. Often times - I'd swear he was talking directly to me. Not in a "sermon from the pastor" sort of way but literally as he spoke of taking responsibility for his life and his decisions- some of which landed him on the streets of San Francisco homeless with a 14 month old baby boy- and asking us to do the same - there was a validation of my current journey happening in my heart and in my mind and I would guess that he saw that in my eyes as he spoke. (I was sitting in the third row on the end of a row of seats right in the diagonal eye shot of Mr. Gardner as he spoke and paced in front of the ballroom that could have seated at least 600-700 people) As the whole room stood giving him the standing ovation - I vaguely remember him pointing in my direction and thanking me (and/or perhaps Emeka from East St. Louis who sat right next to me and shouted "C'mon" with a cadence as if we were in church) for truly standing with him this day. It was thrilling and quite possibly all in my head but I don't think so.

It's interesting because the cycles that Mr. Gardner spoke of breaking were quite different from the ones I am working to break in my life but the spirit was/is the same. If there is something in your life or in your history that you don't want to see repeated- get busy working on the solution to break the cycle and rewrite the history books for your descendants.

I am on it. In a big way at that.

Dictionary says validation means the act or process of validating. Validate means to recognize, establish or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of....

Christopher Gardner, I thank you. For you validating the journey I am on to transform my life and the lives of my kids and their kids by doing the following:

Cultivating and growing a mutually respectful and loving lifelong partnership with my husband and their dad

Establishing multiple streams of income utilizing my God-given talents to secure an inheritance that will enable them to start their adult lives without debt (or a sense of entitlement)

Demonstrating to them the fruits of living within your means and a sense of responsibility to the greater good of those around me as much as to ourselves in our immediate household

Serving both in government and my church as a leader who gives of their talents as much as they profit with them

By accomplishing these small yet powerful goals, I will have successfully started new cycles by which my children can strive to build.

I am on my way.